SOFT SPOT FOR ARCHITECTS.....

I am back with my imaginary buddy, Timmy. (My friends missed him a lot!)

Recently, I watched this movie 500 days of summer with Timmy.

Me: Timmy, I sorta like this Gordon handsome and you know what I just realized?

Timmy: It’s upsetting that a man like him should get a gorgeous girl like that?

Me: No

Timmy: Hmmmm... That I would have looked much cooler as Robin than him?

Me: Yuccckkkk... Oh boy... No...

Timmy:Then?

Me: I just realized that I have a soft spot for architects..

Timmy: You do?

Me: Gordon here acts as an architect you see. Then I like Ted Mosby too and guess, what is he?

Timmy: An architect?

Me: Yes! You see the connection here?

Timmy: Was a Hercules task Rini when you put it like that!! 

Me: But i got a problem.. :(

Timmy: What?

Me: I doubt I would understand much of what architects say.

Timmy: Is that a problem? Rini, you hardly understand much of what anyone says. 

Me: Hmmmm... yea, that's also true....
 

THINGS OBAMA ACTUALLY WANTED TO TELL INDIA DURING HIS VISIT...

1) First thing, Saw Mukesh Ambani's Antilla while we were landing. Now THAT's a building I wouldn't mind a plane crashing into. ;D

2) MIchelle is now the tallest man in India.

3) Accidentally said I was a Gandhi fan. Now have to mention it in every.speech.all.the.f^%#@!^.time. What i think about Gandhi is Nobel Peace Prize: Me = 1, Him = 0.

4) Indians everywhere are calling my wife Kali. I knew Michelle was strong, but didn't realise Indians thought of her as an Indian goddess. Yeppieee :)

5) Who are these Mantri Developers and why does my Blackberry have 300 sms's from them offering to sell me an apartment?

6) Researched a lot about India in Google before going there and I am disappointed that nobody offered me cow urine.. (sob..sob)

7) Just got off the phone with a young lady from some HDFC. Have secured major loans to get over the recession crisis. This trip is already proving a big time win. :D

8) I'm gifting Manmohan Singh a personality development and public speaking course with Deepak Chopra.

 

9) Mumbai is a fine city. It reminds me of New Orleans post Katrina.

 

10) I hate the Pakistanis. They keep saying the damn N word all the time.

 

11) There's no way I'm giving you guys access to David Headley. I saw what your cops did with Jamaal in Slumdog Millionaire.

 

12) I'm not running for a second term if I've to deal with this Rahul chap. what a torture that would be!! phewww...

 

13) No India, I cannot give you a UNSC seat through an OBC quota. (saaaaaryyy!)

14) Btw, why are you so keen on getting a Security Council seat when you can't even stop the Maoists from taking over 10 states?

 

15) That American companies' innovation skill is proved by the invention of McAloo Tikki burger.

 

16) When I ask for cheese they give me something called paneer. When I repeat "CHEESE" they start smiling. This is pissing me off.

 

17) Learnt a new phrase today - Zindagi jhand phir bhi ghamand

 

18) All I have to do is smile, say namaste and make an Amitabh Bachchan reference to make Indians dance on my finger tips. 

 

 

Jab I Met SRK!!!

 I was sleeping tight. I hope my mouth was not open because he would have seen that when he came and sat near me. He must have tried to call me cause by the time I woke up he was shaking me up. Hope he didn't think I was dead. When I woke up I stared for a second then tried to scream but I couldn't find my voice. He raised his eyebrows. “Shhh dont worry. Relax you are in a plane”

I continued to stare. What was he doing in my plane? I seemed to have forgotten the plane did not actually belong to me. He smiled. “Hi you know me right?” Whatever on earth I was doing, I was not talking. He offered his hands for a hand shake and whispered “I am SRK” I shook his hand and replied “I am RM” He laughed at this and whispered again “Shah Rukh Khan”. I whispered back “Rinita Mishra” He opened his mouth wide and said “Wow that's you!”

I sat up straight now. If this was a dream, I was beginning to enjoy it. I said “Ahh don't tell me you know me” He said “But of course! I watch every step of yours! I am your best fan ever! I mean who isn't? But I beat them all I tell you!” I tried to look modest now. I am not sure if I had any idea of what was going on. It was like we interchanged our roles. I signed his autograph book. I actually wrote “Hope you have a bright future ahead” and he insisted me to add this “And be it almost as nice as mine. Love, Rini”

So SRK carries an autograph book what do you know. How surprising it can be!! Then he asked for the weirdest thing. He asked me to touch his head and bless. Okay now this was going too far even for an interesting dream. I had to get out of it. Wake up RINI!!! Seems I did not wake up cause Sharukh was still talking “I normally don't like anyone touching my hair. I am kinda fussy about it you know” That sounded like my fav. man Jesse (If anyone watches the TV sitcom "Full House" would know) I said so. He didn't seem to like it. But hey something was wrong here. How come he didn't recognise me if he watched me every second? I asked that. But he didn't answer.

I woke up. Nope this was not a dream. This was a chunk of my imagination. A big chunk!! How else could I mess it up so much! Oh well it was good while it lasted! Hope he has not lost that autograph book.. ;)

BASIC E MAIL ETIQUETTE TO BE KEPT IN MIND!

From the title of this post, i guess you will have a fair idea as to what the subject is all about. There probably are hundreds of sites on email and chat etiquette; Still this is my attempt to list a few essentials that many of us (including me) forget to keep most of the time!

So as a reminder, here goes a few:

1) When a person whom you know has sent you an email or an offliner in your chat messenger,  we may not have the time to reply back the moment we look at it. Its okay to do that. But its not okay to completely forget about it. Make sure you reply within a day. This is important; as we often push for later and forget. People on the other side may not take it in the same absent-minded way we do. Some people get hurt, some get offended, others annoyed.

But most of the time, people don’t tell us about it, so we go on making the same mistake and they go on feeling offended. Of course, its all together a different story if there are personal reasons as to why you don’t want to respond to some people.

2) The above also works for sms'es or unanswered calls. We most often keep these things for later and it’s the same story again.

3) When you are about to leave, please let the other person know before you do so. Of course such a miss wont happen in real life because you can’t afford to disappear without people noticing it (trust me when i say that..been there.. done that!!).

 

What I am talking about is online conversation via chat you have started.If you suddenly decide the need to shut down and disappear, the person on the other side would feel that may be he/she said something that offended you. Please let them know if you want to go off and don't make them feel guilty. Again, I am telling this out of experience!! :P

4) When someone has sent you a mail or an offliner, please acknowledge!! You need not reply but you have to acknowledge getting it. This could be really annoying. I found that out when I was at the sender’s end. I send something and even after repeated did-you-get-its some people forget to type and send a simple “yes”.

5) Well those are few i could think as important, most of them from my own experience. But the most important acknowledgement which you could give to anybody on this planet is without the help of any sort of technology. It is the something which every person has in him/her -a simple and sweet smile. No one can ever get hurt by it and it does wonders to both the sender and the receiver.

On the other hand, when you take an absent minded stroll on a road and miss all the faces that smile at you and you being in your dream world walk with an indifferent air, you are putting the whole world against you. Trust me, you don’t want to do that!

I tend to be over-expressive and over-reactive on seeing a familiar face.I say my hi’s and bye’s with full on energy (not a good advice if you do that for the byes because people may just think you were looking to get away, which you probably were!! :P )

O' MY SHADOW....

O' my shadow

Come back to me

Lets go to some far away place

Where we could find a piece of solace

Every thinking is a blocked lane

Every moment is making me insane

There are locks to every heart here

Its a very difficult sight to bear

If it is possible, i would erase my name

Let me become just a human being with no shame

When it rains, it showers on everyone's house

Only a man asks for names

Which gives birth to twisted games 

Wish I could write on everybody's head, 

Write on everybody's hand

No one should be less or more, 

Give one name to everyone.....

Don't make pieces of this one land

Don't turn it into sand

When everyone are same

Then don't differentiate them

Love your close ones as much as you can

But don't hate me, my friend

Wish it was possible to color everyone's face

Let every human being guess

No one would be black or white

It would be a pretty sight

Give one color to everyone

Living under one sky and share one sun....

 O' my shadow

Come back to me

Lets go to some far away place

Where we could find a piece of solace.... 

STORY OF A PESSIMISTIC CLOTHE...

I just came out of the bathroom after taking a shower for a long time and was putting my used clothes into the laundry hamper.Putting those set of clothes was like a Herculean task.They turned out to be one mighty set of talkative clothes!!!

Clothe (C): Hey, what you goin' to do with me now?

Me: Put you into the laundry hamper.

C: And why would you do that?

Me: So that I can take all my used clothes to the washing machine later..

C: A washing machine? You mean I will get washed there?

Me: (sarcastically) Holla! you are so intelligent!

C: Are you crazy?? I will just drown in all that soap water! Washing machines are merciless machines. They just keep churning you in water!

Me: Would you please relax? All clothes are washed, okay!! It’s always been so! You are not the first one!

C: Don't you ever wonder why they stop talking once they are washed? Cause they die, you idiot!

Me: No offense, but clothes aren't living things. They are dead already so they can’t die again!

C: Alright alright... Go ahead and kill me, you inhuman human! But one day, I tell you, one day there is going to be a clothe court and they will see to it that justice is given to us clothes! And then take my word, be prepared to spend ages and ages in clothe prison!

Me: Sigh! So what do you want me to do? You want me to leave you all dirty?

C: I don’t mind.. :)

Me: Obviously, you won’t! It’s me who is going to wear you and not the other way!

C: So you don’t take shower either. I don’t mind having to spend my time with a dirty girl...

Me: What??

C: Oh yes... And that also means more free time for you. And that means more sleep.

I thought for a while. Though the offer did seem to interest me for a while I had to get back to reality.

“You almost got me there”. I took it to washing and the next time I took it to wear I heard someone cursing.

Me: Still alive?

C: Don’t talk to me :/

Me: What happened?

C: As if you don't know what happened! Miss Rini, You dipped me in soap water. Do you know what it feels like to have chemicals all over yourself? Killing me was better..

Me: But see, you didn’t drown..

C: No... now that I learned to swim I have no hope of suicide!!

LONG LIVE SLEEP!!!!

Imaginary buddy, Timmy and I at one of our useless hours (yeah, you are right!!we got plenty of them).

Me: Hey Timmy boy!

Timmy: Yes Rini?

Me: I made a discovery :)

Timmy: And what is it about?

Me: You know about sleeping

Timmy: Yea I know a bit about it.

Me: Hmmm.. Then you should know this too.

Timmy: What?

Me: It is a heavenly experience.

Timmy: Oh that!! Yea I knew it.

Me: Really?

Timmy: Yeah, knew it since i was a kid

Me: Good for you! Took me so many years

Timmy: You know what Rini... It is the sun

Me: The sun?

Timmy: Yes nincompoop, The sun!!

Me: What did the sun do?

Timmy: He rose

Me: He?? Err.. Timmy sun isn't exactly the same as SON! But anyway,coming back to the topic, "He" shouldn’t have, bad thing to do that.

Timmy: I know

Me: But sleeping, that’s an awesome thing

Timmy:Yes Rini!!

Me: Angelic

Timmy: Most wonderful thing on earth

Me: Not at all like the sun?

Timmy: Not at all like the sun. It rises

Me: And wakes up people?

Timmy: Exactly!!! Even those who don’t want to wake up

Me: That's really nasty!

Timmy: Very very

Me: I have an idea!

Timmy: what idea?

Me: We could hide it somewhere.

Timmy: The sun?

Me: Yea

Timmy: Don't you think that's little difficult.

Me: Well you know for the sake of sleep-loving nice innocent humans

Timmy: Yep..Worth a shot

Me: May be some day

Timmy: Yea some day

Me: 'Cause now of course, is our sleep time

Timmy: When is it not?

Me: Ah that’s the beauty of sleep Timmy boy!! No fuss. It comes any time

Timmy: There is nothing like sleep

Me: Long live sleep!

Timmy: Hail hail sleep

Me: Long...live.. sleee.. uhh…zzzzzzzzz

Timmy: Hail…. Snoreeeeeeee