SINGING INSIDE A LIFT.......

I don't know if anyone has noticed yet but when i am inside a lift alone, i start to hum... and that humming turns into singing, depending on my destination floor...  So, one day, I was on a lift, I started to compose a poem.. 

“I dunno how, I dunno why, 

last Sunday you told me 

about a new hair dye.. 

but all that I can see…” I sang.

“Is just a small yellow black bee,” chipped in, my imaginary pal Timmy. We went on a chorus: 

“I am turning my head from left to right

I am turna turna turna turning it round, 

and all that I can see… 

is just another small yellow black bee.”

“That wasn’t too bad was it?”

“Absolutely not. Absolutely nothing”

“Uh ah… the song is quite soothing..” – in singing mode again. “Absolutely nothing,” Timmy sang.

“What would I do without you Timmy?”

“Very little Miss Rini, very little.”

It was our floor. I knew there was something odd as soon as I stepped out. Everyone were staring at me. Some of their faces looked familiar. Finally I reached a room where I saw Anil Kapoor. Ouch! I was on a shooting location, interrupting a scene. I ran back to the lift. 

“Oh no oh no oh shit shit shit”

“Rini, you are using the s-word.”

“Shut up Timmy. Aww gee that was so embarrassing. Do you think they will arrest me?”

“For being in a shooting location? Nahhh. Well it is a sort of trespass and considering that they took a whole floor for this very purpose… maybe they will give you a fine… hmm Rini, I think they will arrest you”

“Forget I asked”

The lift opened, the security caught me and took me right back up.This was it, I was going to be put in jail. “But I didn’t do anything wrong. There was no board saying no entry,” I was nervous.

When the lift opened director Yash Chopra was waiting. “Yash Chopra,” I hissed.

“Glad you recognized. Would you please step in?”

 “Listen Mr Yash ji, I had no idea. Look I am sorry alright, but you can’t really hold me up like this. I am just a college student!”

 “We were towards the end of a long scene when you interrupted. So we will have to do the whole scene again or explain your presence.”

“Oh. Does that mean I should pay a fine? I know the rules!” I blurted out. I looked at Timmy for support. The coward was hiding behind me.

At this point Mr.Kapoor joined and I reddened.

“Young girl…” he began.

“I am not a girl”. I sighed turning to Timmy. Timmy smirked.

“It is a big menace shooting the whole thing again”

“But you can’t arrest me for that!”

“Would you mind if we keep the scene that way?”

I reflected. Cool, finally my big chance to “act”. “No I wouldn’t. Wait let me think (had to play hard to get). Yeah it should be fine.”

“It should be, considering the skills we observed in surveillance camera when you were inside that lift.”

At this point I woke up. Actually I woke up a long time ago. And willfully daydreamed from where I stopped.Timmy is still smirking, idiot.. ;)

To Dentist We (dont want to) Go

Timmy (my imaginary friend) and Me

Two conversations. Err dentists or docs, please skip this. No defamation charges shall be accepted. :P :P

Scene 1: Timmy and Me in living room

Me: Timmy, I am going to die

Timmy: Oh?

Me: Yes. Next week.

Timmy: Oh?

Me: I am against suicide

Timmy: Oh?

Me: So I am appointing someone to kill me

Timmy: I cant

Me: Eh?

Timmy: I’d love to help you, Rini, you know I always do. But I don’t like the smell of blood

Me: Thank you Timmy but you don’t have to take the trouble

Timmy: Oh is there a back up killer?

Me: There is only one. My dentist!!!

Timmy: Oh he is not going to kill you. He will just drive some screws into your jaws

Me: Thanks a lot! That helps!

Timmy: Oh don’t be a baby Rini, its no big deal!

Me: But it is! What if he was bored and thinks a root canal will be a fun thing to do?

Timmy: Errrr Rini....

Me: It is possible you know. Half the time dentists do things out of sheer boredom.

Timmy: I don’t think root canal is a fun thing for dentists either. Monopoly maybe.

Me: You are missing the point. We are talking about me, remember! Solve my problem first.

Timmy: You could choose not to go.

Me: I cant. The pain is killing me.

Timmy: You could distract yourself. Read Calvin and Hobbes

Me: How? Stick it to the roof?

Timmy: Oh I didn’t think of that. Oh yeah mp3 player

Me: Timmy! Well that is an idea. But he might confuse it for his stethoscope and throw water at it.

Timmy: Dentists throw water at stethoscopes?

Me: All the time. They throw water everywhere, into your mouth, onto their knives and even the nurses.

Timmy: Why nurses?

Me: Identification I guess. To know them from patients.

Timmy: Oh. Maybe they like gardening.

Me: So coming back to my problem....

Timmy: Oh forget it Rini, lets just eat for now

Me: Hmmmm easy for you to say you cavity-less creature!

Timmy: One day Rini one day I will get it too.

Me: Don’t worry, I will take you to a doc. Unless you like to stay alive a little longer?


Scene 2:Me and the Doc. :'(


Me: I have got 2 cavities

Doc: 2 of ‘em?

Me: Yes can you tell me if I will need root canalling?

Doc: Hmm you just might

Me: Oh I don’t want to die so young

Doc: Root canalling does not imply suicide as is the general conviction

Me: No, I know

Doc: Good

Me: Its willful murder

Doc: I beg your pardon?

Me: I am letting you kill me.......

R.I.P

Me and Timmy: Sickness...

“I feel horrible”

I said looking at the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan had nothing to do with the horribleness, but it looked like a good thing to talk to. My imaginary pal Mr Timmy, whose existence I buried under a few pillows moments ago, popped up to join the conversation.

“Rini, that’s the 15th time you are using that word!”

“Today?”

“This minute! And that’s only because it takes you 4 seconds to say horrible!”

“4? What am I, a turtle?”

“Turtles don’t talk English”

 

“Ohh”. I took my head under 2 pillows and murmured aloud. “Running nose, watery eyes and a tummy”

“I thought tummy was an old problem”

I came out of the pillows. “It’s a new one when it doesn’t know when it should be fed”

“Oh you can’t sense hunger”

“I feel horrib… alright I am a turtle”

“Quack quack”

I felt a need for some educative tips here. “Timmy, ducks do quack quack. Not turtles”

“So what do turtles do?”

“Oh! Well turtles. What sound do they make… they… they just win races with rabbits. They don’t talk”

“Hmm good. So what do we do?”

“2 choices. 1. You sleep, 2. You stare at your ceiling fan. Oh wait I got another one now! Timmy, we will do a death bed scene. Hold my hands”

He must have liked the idea of seeing my death bed; he came by my side and held my hands.

“Timmy! Don’t chew when someone is dying! Keep your face somber”

“Do I get to talk?”

“After me. Ok here we go… Oh… Tim… this… is it… ahu ahu… Good bye world. Goodbye dear… pal. Wont you… visit my coffin buddy ahu ahu ahu?”

“Ahu ahu ahu?”

“Thats cough!”

“Right so you were saying ahu ahu ahu”

“Timmy, you ruined it! You look way too cheerful”

“Really? I must be a natural”

“Forget the death bed scene”

“Oh no no you were doing great Rini! We will just take you to your death with the open-mouth-tongue-out expression”

“Never mind! We are going back to option 1. So start counting your sheep!”

“I like that. Especially when they have longer limbs”

“I said sheep! You know what the only thing men are good at?”

“Wearing sun glasses?”

I paused for a minute to show sarcasm. “They are only good in taking you somewhere to eat and leaving you behind with one thing they forgot to take care of”

“Dogs?”

“Bills”