Hi, How Are You.......?

Years later and miles apart, she finally gathered courage to ask him over a cold text on an October evening. Shocked and ravaged that it took her so long to want to reach out and ask him.

"Scarred...Marred...Devastated...Shattered...Broken into pieces... Would you even understand this? Do you really want to know the cruel truth?"

He was certain that his reply would not garner any kind of empathy about his loneliness from the only woman who broke his heart, his appetite for love. He composed his feelings, took a sip from his half empty can of soda, and replied - 

"I am wonderful".

Rules of Staying Unbroken......

He always kept his things neat and tidy, until she stomped out of his life. That's when he realized the mess they had created. His heart was in shambles but the rest of him was just okay. He kept wondering - "How long does it take for this mess inside to disappear, to be sane again? It hurts".

And then, he found her staring at him in one corner of the cupboard's top shelf. The slate was their book of life. He had tossed it away the night they fought, the night she left him. He could throw the slate away but not the words written on it, in permanent marker.

Rules of staying unbroken

Don't call. Just show up.

Don't say sorry. Just fix it up.

Don't walk away. Just stay.

CURIOUS CASE OF ELEVATORS

I use elevator everyday, whether it is the office building or my apartment. But seriously, it is one of the most awkward places to get stuck with people you don't want to (unless he/she is your crush). And I, definitely, don't want to get stuck with the following people inside an elevator:

1. The earphone/headphone guy: Okay, we get it. You are listening to your fav song. While I and rest of us are stuck with you, we can't help but hear the gargling sound from  your earphones, trying to share the "awesome music" you think it is. Boy, lower it down.

2. The leaner: He is typically a lazy guy who can't keep his head straight off. The moment he enters inside the elevator, he will lean on you. No amount of discomfort shown by your face will affect his head. To keep your temper down, you might as well give your shoulder to lean on, before he forcefully does.

3. Office crush: Wooo... Your office crush... with you..... in an elevator..... wow.. Thank your stars and enjoy the 5-10 sec ride. But don't act creepy by staring at your crush constantly inside the enclosed box. 

4. Attractive people: Being inside the elevator with these kind of people might prove to be uncomfortable. You will spend rest of the time, staring at them, then the mirror and thinking if you look good enough.

5. Madonna types: People falling under this category try to hum their favourite tune in a so-called low voice, but we can't help it. If by any chance, she is going to 8th floor and you are 1-2 floors below her, prepare yourself to sing with her, to bear the torture in a better fashion. If you can't shut them up, join them!!

6. Boss: Even if you get along, being stuck with your boss inside an elevator is terrible. No amount of fake smile will save you from those awkward pauses and silence.

7. Chatterboxes: These are extrovert human beings who chatter and blabber about the latest episode of our favorite tv series or movies or the latest trending topic. They are the best source of office gossips and rumors. 

8. Big Bag Theory: These people can be detrimental. They turn left and right and slap us with their bags.

9. Always-in-a-hurry ones: These people repeatedly push open/close buttons every time someone gets in or goes out of the elevator. it's so annoying to watch.

10. Poor Hygiene Ones: Curse your day, if you ever get stuck with them. Prepare yourself to hold your breath till he or you reach the desired floor.

MEMORIES OF K.V SCHOOL DAYS...

Now that I've been working almost closer to two years, I sometimes go back to past and smile over thinking about my golden school days.

I've studied in various Kendriya Vidyalaya (K.V) schools over a period of 15 years and the experience has been amazing. There are countless memories related to my school. So, I have decided to jot down few of them, and if you are a KVian, you might agree with me.

So, shooting off:

1. School starting at 7.30am and you have to get through the main gate at least 5 minutes prior to the time. Even a minute late, and you have to stand in "late line", which was by the way, super fun. :D

2. I sort of miss waiting for my school bus at my "STOPPAGE" and frantically searching for a window seat. Last seats were reserved exclusively for senior high school kids and few of the front ones for teachers.

3. Wearing white shirt with navy blue skirt, and later on advancing to wearing navy blue kameez with white dupatta and salwaar (for girls) and for guys, wearing white shirt with navy blue half pants (boys crib a lot for that!!!) and later as they advance to senior high school, half pants grow into full pants.. And yeah, no full sleeved shirts for either of the sex.

The one thing that dreaded girls was "RED RIBBON". Even if your hair has grown little below your ears, you have to tie them into two braids on either side... Naah Naa... Red Rubber Bands are not enough. Uniform checking was done by prefects or monitors during morning assembly. If you forget your ribbon, borrow from other class girls.

4. Every Wednesday/Thursday, white uniform. You should remember to wear your white uniform on that day, otherwise a separate queue would be waiting for you (making you look like an outcast). On this day, we would have our PT exercise drill session by PET Sir.

5. Morning assembly programmes were super boring. With the beat of drum, you have to march in to the assembly ground from respective classes. You have to stand according to class and section wise, height wise with "ONE HAND DISTANCE" in a straight line.

I miss our morning prayer ("...Daya karna hamaari aatma mein shuddhta dena....."). Our pledge in English, Hindi and Sanskrit, where girls used to add in few more words, so as not to offend their future husband - "...All Indians are my brothers and sisters..." and you could hear few girls whispering "except for my future husband".
Then we would have Thought for the day, followed by News, and then a special presentation (which could be anything- a poem, a small skit, dance, song..) and would ultimately end the assembly programme by singing our National Anthem.

Saturdays include singing of community songs like, "Bharat ka swarnim gaurav kendriya vidyalaya laayega....", "Hind desh ke nivaashi...", "Aata ootavu saare raan...", "Ae maati re, mora maate...", etc.

6. Greeting teacher in chorus, when they enter classroom "Gooooooooooooood Mooooooooorninggggggggg Maaaaaadam/Siiiiiiir". First period was always taken by class teacher who used to spend half an hour in taking attendance, and chances are we used to forget saying "Yes Madam/Present Madam".

7. Having separate CW (classwork) and HW (homework) notebooks and carrying them daily to school, apart from text book, rough book and school diary.

8. My excuse for not doing homework were either - "There was no power at home last evening" or "Dad came back from office late last evening".. Now when I think of it, it's hard to understand the correlation between my dad's late arrival and incompletion of homework.. lol... :D

9. Having two breaks- small break for washroom purpose and a long break for lunch. We used to finish our lunch like godspeed during small break and play during lunch break..

10. If a teacher wasn't present, it was the duty of the monitor to maintain silence and discipline in the class. Writing names of those who were found talking, on the blackboard. Making a guy sit beside a girl or vice versa as a form of punishment.

11. Playing Name/Place/Animal/Thing during free periods.

12. Copying down blindly from blackboard written by teacher without any understanding and if you fall behind in speed, it used get erased by duster and then, disturb friends to copy down the rest.

13. Eagerly waiting to hear "End Period Bell".

14. Practicing March Past for Republic Day and Independence Day.

15. Hard to forget our school Houses:

Tagore House
Ashok House
Raman House
Subhash House

In some KVs, instead of the above we had:

Ganga House
Brahmaputra House
Cauvery House
Narmada House

16. The worst day for any KVian is 31st March, day of results. Your heart beating fast when class teacher gives away report cards one by one.

17. Happily skip classes to attend rehearsals for any school function.

18. Roaming around the corridors in the pretext of going to washroom.

19. 11th grade students eagerly waiting to become teacher just for one day, on Teacher's day.

20. Waiting for that one day, apart from birthday, when we could wear casual dresses without any restriction - Children's Day.

21. Having cotton candy or stick pepsi after school hours.

22. Always forget to carry scissor and other stationary stuffs for S.U.P.W classes.

23. Parents Teacher Meeting more scarier than a horror movie.

The list goes on and on. No matter what, nothing can beat like sweet memories of school days. 

D For......

During one of our serious jobless moments, my imaginary friend Timmy and I were sitting, looking at the same dull point of our whitish ceiling. Tim opened his mouth (sadly!!) without turning his head:

"Rini, when you get old, will you dye?"

I stared at him for complete five minutes. "Die??"

Tim: God, never understood how on earth I became YOUR friend???!!!??

Me: Errr.. May be, I created you out of MY imagination??

Tim: Haa... Don't change the topic now.. Coming back to the topic, It's not die, miss... It's D-Y-E.  Dye your hair.

I looked at him, being not so pleased. "If white/gray hair suits me, I won't.

Tim: And what if it doesn't?

Me: Grrrrr.... I would simply shave off.

Tim, looking very happy: It would be nice to look at.

Me (angrily): May be you should just die!!!

Tim: Lol, may be we should stop using that word.. Too much of chemical, I say..... From now on, no one in this room will say die..or dye..or any word starting with D.

Me: Dinner?

Tim: Except dinner.

Lamhe... Long Lost Movie................

Sridevimania is long over, but that doesn't mean I can't cash in at this late date. Here I am, anyway, whether you want me or not - and I come bearing the so called Bolly movie "Lamhe".

Yash Chopra’s neglected baby born in 1991 fell flat on its face during the race to the top of the box office at the mega-hurdle called “incest”. More than two decades after its release, Lamhe is the Chopra movie most likely to be called an "overlooked masterpiece”.

As an unapologetic member of the minority cult which deems this movie its favorite, I have to say it is a big time exaggeration to call this movie a masterpiece. Overlooked, yes. Masterpiece, no.

Lamhe shows its quality – in its performances like Anil Kapoor’s earnest confession at the climax or Anupam Kher telling his best friend off; in scenes like the one in which Pallavi’s husband gently informs her about Viren’s feelings and advises her to continue her friendship with him or when Anita first recognizes that Viren and Pooja aren’t exactly platonic.

In case you’re one of those who hasn’t watched this movie, here’re some things you should know:

Q. Is Lamhe really about incest?
A. Nooooooooooooo, how can you have such a doubt!!!???!!! The movie is all about this guy (Viren) who falls for the daughter (Pooja) of his first True Love (Pallavi). Now go with your imagination....

Q. That doesn't sound too bad. Then what’s this hue and cry with the incest thing then?
A. You can call it the "then state of mind of the public"... Thing is Viren became Pooja’s guardian after Pallavi died in childbirth and she looks exactly like her mom. Now what can the story writer/scriptwriter/director/ possibly do if the child is the mirror image of her dead mom.. But! The thing to remember is that he never laid eyes on Pooja for those 18 crucial years when she was growing up into her mother’s double and all the day-to-day raising was done by his old nurse (Dai Jaan). Besides, she‘s the one who chases him (rolling my eyes)!!!

Q. By the way, why name the movie Lamhe?

A. Duh, it means Moments. You see, Viren spends his whole adult life hoarding the few moments he spent in Pallavi’s dazzling presence and Pooja threatens to do the same with the few moments she spent in Viren’s considerably less dazzling presence, and then Viren realizes that all the dazzling moments he spent with Pallavi have been replaced by Pooja’s dazzling presence. Too much of razzle dazzle!!

Q. Wait a minute..... Don't tell me this movie features clean shaven Anil Kapoor?

A. Yes! How else then can you differentiate between the immature youth who fell in love with Pallavi-who-looked-straight-through-him (Moochless waala!) and the oldie goldie who falls for the fun and energetic Pooja-who-idolizes-him-even-though-he-ignores-her (Mooch waala!).

Q. Who else are in this movie?
A. There’s our favourite filmy maa Waheeda Rehman who is a total darling. Anupam Kher is great, especially if you and in this matter he himself didn't know that this was going to be the character he plays in every single YRF movie from then on. Deepak Malhotra as Pallavi’s husband and Pooja’s father is hilariously statue. And then there’s Dippy Sagoo as Anita the woman-who-ought-to-have-known-better-than-to-spend-years-mooning-over-a-wet-blanket. I’m very sad Dippy Sagoo’s career never took off (I secretly blame that wet blanket). Too bad, Dippy Sagoo!

Q. Should I watch this?
A. Do you like happy endings, older men, spunky young women, Sridevi and Anil Kapoor? Lata Mangeshkar crooning melodiously in the background and warm woolens in England? Then this is the movie for you! Otherwise, not so much.

Q. You really like this movie, don’t you?
A. Do not judge me.

Last but not the least, Lamhe is a great movie released in the wrong generation. It was a daring move for Yash Chopra to tackle a taboo topic such as this in a professional mainstream manner. This movie bombed at box office all too unjustly because the audience could not handle the subject matter - a love that ignores the boundaries of age. 

SOCIAL MEDIA: HATE ME IF YOU CAN!!!

With every passing day, I'm starting to dislike Google and social media. It was really good during school and college days. How could anyone possibly think of even doing their projects without adding the main ingredient, namely, Google.

But frankly, I do not like Google or any search engine for that matter, anymore. And I don't like Facebook too nowadays. it's the main culprit for making my life more complicated. I can't ask my friends anything anymore.

"Hey ABC, Did you like the latest bolly flick, Singham Returns?"
"Check my Fb status."

"Hey XYZ, Which state are you supporting in the kabbaddi league?"
'Darn Rini, check my tweet.. And yeah, retweet."

"Hi PQR, how was your vacation in Goa?"
"I have uploaded pics on fb"

"Hey LMN, what was the meaning of the word you mentioned the other day on whatsapp?"
"Google it yaar."

Well yeah, Google is awesome when someone tells you something so obvious that everyone else seems to know about it, and you secretly Google later, without admitting what an ignorant fool you are.

 And yes Google is super cool, when you are chatting with someone online and they talk about something completely alien to you, and you could go and Google in a new window, and come back to chat feeling like Einstein. 

Yes, it has its pros. But I miss that good old on-the-face stuff, even if it be “Don’t you even know that??” or “Where were you when this was taught at school?” 

Now they hush you off to references, even if it be about their own life. Now I'm in that fear zone where I am expecting replies like “Why would you ask me how are you, didn’t you see my daily morning status?”

Or maybe I will go surprise a friend and say “guess who?” and in turn reply would be “wait, let me take your picture and check among my Facebook friends.” And worse, come back saying “Nope you are not there, you better add me first 'cause I don’t talk to (Facebook) strangers.” 

I'm not exaggerating, merely sharing experiences. Admit it, people have already stopped talking to you 'cause you didn’t ‘like’ their new profile picture. Or comment about their cover photo.

And remember your childhood times when you had a small party and forgot to invite some friend or another, and could hide it all up later? Nope pals, that's not happening anymore 'cause some super brainy would happily post it online and caption it “fun times!”

 But frankly, this is not my problem at all. All I want is for my friends to reply to me when I talk to them, without sending me off to the internet for my answers.